A night to forget

On September 21st it was the first riot event of the academic year, it was an opportunity to show the new boys what we are about and have a bit of rough fun and bants with the chaps. It didn’t turn out that way but I shall get to that later. I fluffed up a bit because Clare Thompson the scruffy dyke had her heart set on giving me an interminable rant on well academically I was doing. The chaps were a bit exasperated with me because I was a tad late but there big boys they can suck it up. I gallantly got them riled up to so that the dinner had an element of pizzazz and was lacklustre like previous years. Guy pulled one out the bag by organising the ten bird roast which was smashing, unfortunately it was one bird short which didn’t bother me but the chaps were incessant on me getting to get it knocked off the bill which I thought was rather pedantic but oh well. One part of the evening that I was literally disgusted at was the animalistic behaviour of Alistair and the other guys ridiculing me because I worked in the cooperative bank, well excuse me for having some ambition and wanting to go places outside of the club. The lot of them acted like total shits and that’s just not on, especially towards your president. The amount of time I spent trying to hown them into to decent young chaps and they do something like that its despicable. To be honest that really cut through the heart of me and somewhat subdued me for the large majority of the evening. Shortly after that Harry’s tremendously crass idea of ordering a prostitute had arrived, but that one fell through probably because she saw as I did that these chaps were being a complete bunch rawkus burks. After that I could tell the landlord was getting bit shirty with us, but it was rather amusing like watching a rowing instructor being flustered because he’s forgotten his paddle. After that we quietened down slightly and proceeded with our mass consumption of Bordeaux. Tubes had a bit of a rough time with it and passed out and during this time it was time for Chelsea trots which was a good opportunity for me to get back in the saddle and actually enjoy myself. It was a bit of fun until the chaps were way out of order and guy the squirmy creep forced the landlord’s daughter to kiss him which me and Hugo concurred that really wasn’t banta anymore. After that we did what any good Riotsman do and decimate the contents of a restaurant. Even I have to say it was pretty bloody spectacular and it even more tasty due to the fact that I was completely forest gateaud. The land lord burst in the middle of it and was majorly hacked off, this is where the night got ugly. He was shouting at Alistair for a few minutes and Ryle’s inner yob came out and decked him and some of the other boys like a pack of wolves. It was absolutely disgusting behaviour and very typically of Ryle to exert his power in front of us and on this time it was with his fists. It left us in a total panic with what to do and was just a huge sense of franticness among us. Hugo was adamant that we needed an ambulance and this eventually became the consensus. One by one every one realised that ultimately it was Alistair’s fault and he knew, it was a night to be forgotten.