The Riot Club

21st September

This all started in the cab on the way to the Bull’s Head in Kidsbury. My sponsor Toby was extremely pissed off with me and I had no idea why, it wasn’t until we arrived that he confronted me and said that it was because I had moved some of my things from my room because he had told me that I was about to have my room trashed by the Riot Club and I didn’t want my computer, my stereo and my family heirloom, Kingsley Bear broken and/or destroyed.
It wasn’t long before more people started arriving, but no one knew where James, the president of the Riot Club was because he didn’t contact anyone so we were all left in the dark of where the president was.

We all tried to get the party started and were all trying to get into the Riot Club spirit, and as we all found out people were making their own contributions to the club. For example, Guy had “customised” the menu by making it more “Riot Club”, Harry had booked a prostitute, Hugo had written a poem because he heard that is what they did at every dinner and Dimitri had arranged for us to get out of the country for the night via his own private jet.

I have to say that I was extremely overwhelmed by all of this because my brother had been in the Riot Club and has then been known as a legend and he told me stories about what they did and I felt honoured to be apart of this.

Unfortunately, not everything went to plan because with Guy’s main course, he had arranged for us to have a ten bird roast, one bird for each of us, but as it turns out, there was only nine birds. This didn’t really bother me but the others wanted to complain but I didn’t see the point because there was enough food to go around, its not like we were left starving.

Harry’s prostitute wasn’t what we expected because apparently it wasn’t in here job description to give blow jobs to 9 men under the table so she left and there we sat blow jobless.
The landlord wasn’t too thrilled with the prostitute being there so she had to quickly leave out of the window before he called the police.

After the prostitute and Chris had left, Alistair decided to have a rant about Chris and the prostitute, which I have to say that I agreed with what he said because we shouldn’t be treated like this, its like they don’t know who we are!

During desert, I shared how much I hated my home being treated like an amusement park and I found out that others felt the same way that I did.

Soon after, Dimitri told us to look under our place mats where he had left Icelandic money for us and he told us that we were going to Iceland tonight.

Dimitri’s plan to get us out of the country didn’t go down too well because none of us was too excited and what was the point in only going for the night then we would have to come back.

Toby had been passed out for quite a while and had decided to wake up, but not as himself, as Lord Riot and he did the most amazing speech that made us realise that what we were doing wasn’t Riot Club behaviour. I have to say, I couldn’t take him seriously and I couldn’t stop laughing for the most of it.

Not long after, Rachel, Chris’s daughter came in to clear the table and Harry got the brilliant idea to play a quick game of Chelsea trots.

Hugo lost the first round, but counter forfeited James and he had to drink a bottle down in one.

Guy lost the next round and he had to kiss Rachel which she wasn’t very happy about but Guy layed one on her anyway whether she liked it or not. I don’t think that she liked the kiss very much and stormed out.

We decided that it was room trashing time because it is traditional for the Riot Club to trash the room, pay for the damage and leave. This is what I had been waiting for all night, this is the moment for me to live what my brother had previously lived in the Riot Club, this is what we had been known for, but during the awesome room trash, Chris came in and saw what we were doing.

He wasn’t too pleased by what he saw but Alistair explained to him what was happening and that we were going to pay for the damage so he might as well leave us to it, but Chris wouldn’t back down and he changed the subject to his daughter and how we could have a sexual assault conviction.

It was at that moment that something changed in Alistair and he decided to hit him once, some others did the same, but Toby took it too far and was beating the living shit out of him – literally.
I have to say that I am not proud to admit this but in sheer panic I started to cry.
None of us knew what to do, the land lord could die, but who will go down for it?

We came down to the conclusion that Alistair would go down and the rest of us would go free.